Running to Standstill

Lovely

2012-02-14T14:12:00.000-06:00

I took the day off to hit Barton Creek Trail. I am officially go for the Grand Canyon in April and it's time to get my legs and feet ready. I won't be able to do as much training as I did last year in the months before the hike, but I'm hoping it will still be a success.

I have one sole Saturday off from my certification program and that just happened to coincide with a necessary trip back to GCC and the date worked beautifully for the group of friends that I'm hiking with. Kismet. We wanted to do North to South this year, but the North rim isn't open until May so we're sticking to what we know and doing the same route from last year. I'm just glad to be there in any fashion. The cherry on top is that my sister Xandy is going come and do the hike with me. Party!

Today's hike was good. As I've mentioned before, Barton Creek is mostly flat so not very serious hiking, but good to get my feet used to shoes etc. I ended up doing only 13-14 of the total 15 miles because right near the end of the trail down the creek towards Zilker I was stopped by a park ranger and told that the trail was closed due to the big rain yesterday and given a mild reprimand. I told him I couldn't just leave, I had 7 miles back to my car. What was he going to do? So I turned around and headed back. The trail was a little muddy in parts but not that bad. I guess they close it after big rains since people tend to widen the trail to avoid the mud and cause too much erosion. I understand but it still seemed strange. I was certainly not the only person on the trail today.

Good day to be out. The sky was clear and the temperatures perfect. It was really nice to be away from work, away from my computer, away from all the busy to have some time on my own. Just me and some lovely thoughts in my head...

Gray

2012-02-13T13:32:00.001-06:00

I was supposed to be out hiking today but instead the weather has got me sitting in my office with a mug of tea, gazing out my window at sometimes rainy, sometimes gray skies. That's okay.

Know

2012-02-11T08:51:00.001-06:00

Doing my best to be present and accounted for...

Eyes

2012-02-10T18:13:00.001-06:00

I love to sit outside with late afternoon sun in my eyes.

Sunset

2012-02-10T18:06:00.000-06:00

Late afternoon with my girls at the greenbelt. Which is glorious in the orange light of sunset.

Done!

2012-02-07T17:53:00.003-06:00

The good news is that I finished my Math content course today, the first part of my teacher certification program. Just over two weeks to remember all my high school Math. Whee! The bad news is that it did not sufficiently prepare me to really take the certification exam in April so I will be continuing to study on my own. I was a little disappointed with the structure and content of the course, but at least it gave me a feel for all the holey spots in my memory. And I really, really enjoyed it; I had forgotten how much I totally enjoy Math. I think having stepped out of pure Math for so long will actually be an asset to my teaching because I will be able to relate to students on what it feels like to have pieces of the puzzle missing. That's what I'm telling myself anyway :-)

Cozy

2012-02-06T17:22:00.001-06:00

The new dog bed I bought seems to be a meeting ground for canine and non-canine friends alike.

Tube

2012-02-04T20:00:00.001-06:00

Cuddling in bed with my girl, watching a little Netflix. Tessa is obsessed with the show Eureka and even though the semi-formulaic plot lost my interest a while back, I still loving having a "thing" with her. That plus I secretly wish I lived in a hidden town dedicated to cutting edge research science as depicted in the show.

Date

2012-02-03T19:30:00.001-06:00

Date Night with my baby girl, watching movies. Cuddlicious.

Sweet

2012-02-02T15:36:00.001-06:00

I am studying a lot in the afternoons and Sylvie comes into my office to keep me company. She is adorable and it brightens my day.

New Song

2012-02-01T08:48:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling the buzz of new music this month. I'm not sure about this album, but this song has got me hooked.

Good things about my day

2012-01-28T20:50:00.001-06:00

Starting out the day going out with friends for breakfast and discussing a book. Love eating out for breakfast, love books, love socializing with friends. This was the initial meeting of the "Big Fat Book Club" where we are going to slowly work through some of those huge classic titles that I can never seem to fit in otherwise. We read a couple hundred pages a month and get done when we get done. Peer pressure at its finest. We're reading Crime and Punishment, I'm liking it so far even though my brain isn't used to reading the classics anymore. Another reason I decided to start this book group. Must resist atrophy.

Studying this afternoon. Initially this felt like a downer but I got to remember how much I adore Geometry. It makes me crazy happy. To steal a turn of phrase from my friend Sarah, I want to make out with it. (Thanks Sarah, I am going to use that one way too much from now until forever.) I am in an upswing with the whole teaching thing. I'm feeling energized and excited. Thankfully I'm not quite naive enough to think this is where I'll stay. I'm ready ride the roller coaster.

Good yoga class this afternoon. Not too hard, not too easy - just right. There are a lot of days when making it out of the house to get to a yoga class just seems like a lot of work. But I'm always glad when I do. Always.

Making pizookies with my girls and vegging out with Project Runway. I love cookies. And I love that show. But most of all I love my girls. They are amazing in so many ways. I do my best to stay out of their way so they can continue on their own fine trajectory without me messing them up too much. I am a lucky mom.

Company

2012-01-27T11:26:00.001-06:00

We've been dog sitting for a friend this week. The cutest little peekapoo named Jeter. Life with three dogs isn't all that bad and Cinnamon is on cloud nine having a playmate. They wrestle all day while Cricket sits in the corner looking slightly annoyed.

The Economic Naturalist

2012-01-24T17:08:00.000-06:00

The Economic Naturalist: In Search of Explanations for Everyday Enigmas by Robert H. Frank
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'll admit that I didn't even make it half way through this book. I thought I could read just about anything about behavioral economics but this book proved me wrong. It seems the author just collected a bunch of answers his students had provided in the course of class and compiled them in to a book. Without really siting or even verifying their thoughts. There were some "answers" to puzzles of human behavior provided that were just preposterous. Life's too short to read lame books.

View all my reviews

The Disappearance

2012-01-24T17:04:00.002-06:00

The Disappearance: A Novella and Stories by Ilan Stavans
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I wanted to wait and review this after meeting with my book club to discuss it because usually that helps me understand and enjoy the book more fully, but not in this case. Pretty much the whole group disliked it. There were two short stories and a novella, I only liked the last short story. The other two pieces I found unbearable.

Reading about the Mexican Jewish experience seemed like it would be intriguing. But it seemed to me that the understandable alienation that the author felt growing up (the pieces being somewhat autobiographical) has made him bitter and seems to want to punish the reader by making us feel excluded, rather than illuminating and breaking down barriers through explanation/education.

I feel the author and his work comes across as snobby and pretentious. This is completely typified by a moment in the novella where he is describing the home of one character and in the process lists the books on his coffee table. The author lists some classic and important works that are there and among them he decides to slip in one of his own titles! Lame.

The last short story, Xerox Man, was intriguing to me and I thought it had the best voice of the collection. But still, not enough for me to recommend this title to anyone.

View all my reviews

Wishing for spring

2012-01-23T13:43:00.001-06:00

It has been so lovely this winter, so warm, that it's got me craving spring. There's a magnolia tree down my street and every time I drive by I hope to see it blooming. I love magnolias. I went to Atlanta a few years ago and was blown away by the size and beauty of the trees there. Such a beautiful memory...

Crazy

2012-01-22T13:17:00.000-06:00

I calendar as a form of therapy. I am always closely tied to my calendar, but especially when things get stressful in the fourth dimension I need to make sure it all lays out neatly on my weekly grid. I think I got a reputation yesterday in class as I probably asked five different questions about the nuts and bolts of the schedule. (In my defense their calendar was vague at best and misleading at worst.) I have an online class the next three weeks that will require a lot of time, so first thing I do is head to the calendar to lay it out. Crazy week, eh? Crazy brain too.

Relatedly, the first class I have is for content mastery. Three weeks to remember pretty much the entirety of high school math from Pre-Algebra through Calculus and Statistics. That's gonna be fun. And if you look at my week you'll also notice that I have three different book groups converging on my week. I realize something's gotta give, but I'm not ready to sacrifice that quite yet.

Continued

2012-01-22T11:58:00.000-06:00

And then this morning I got to clean up a laundry room full of dog pee and not one, but two dog pukes this morning. Really?

Whining

2012-01-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

I need to whine for a moment about my day yesterday. I got almost no sleep Friday night. I had a terrible headache that was keeping me up all night. Plus nerves. Plus a fitful Sylvie in my bed who was tossing and turning and moaning and thrashing and getting up and down all. night. long. But I survived and my all day orientation was fine. Crazy amounts of information to process that would have overloaded me under any circumstance, but considering the night I had I was major spent by the time I was done. I took the girls out to dinner to celebrate and then we crashed on the couch with a movie. We were done at 8:30 and I was seriously cogitating making that my bedtime. But the girls were both complaining of itchy scalp so I thought I'd better take a look before bed. Um, lice. So instead of bed I got to put my clothes back on, head to the store for the lice kit, launder the whole house, and spend hours picking through my daughters' hair with the tiny comb. Pretty thrilled with Tessa's waist length hair right now. Oh, and did I mention Dave was out of town on a guy's weekend? Superb. The house was (and is) still undone with piles of laundry everywhere but I crawled into bed just before midnight not caring one whit more. Dave tells me he got home at midnight but I was so knocked out I didn't even hear him. Yay Saturday.

Big News

2012-01-22T09:40:00.001-06:00

What a whirlwind week - lots of big news that I am still processing myself. I applied about a month ago to a teacher certification program. I really felt strongly about teaching Math as the next chapter for me. I've really felt confident about the decision and pretty calm that it would all work out. And it seems that it truly will. Thursday I was called in for an interview to the program, Friday I was accepted, and Saturday I attended an all day orientation into the program with course work beginning immediately. Off to the races!

There are a few unique and great things about the program. First it is accelerated so that I will actually be a certified teacher this very fall. Which is great and scary both. (The ratio of great v. scary vacillates hourly.) Also, by the time I had applied in December the program would normally be closed but they had extended the deadline this year. Extremely fortuitous for yours truly as this wasn't on my radar until recently. The very best thing about the program I was accepted into is that I have a "hired unassigned contract" which means I am guaranteed a job this fall in AISD. I will still be applying at different schools to find a best fit, but I definitely have a job. Not very many participants in the certification program have that guarantee so I am very fortunate.

The next year and a half are going to be tremendously difficult I'm sure. How much that is of an understatement is to be seen. But I am extremely energized for the challenge. It will be an abrupt change for me to move from half time work in the quiet of my home to basically a full time job in the trenches (for only marginally more pay too). But it is time in my life for me to really give back and this is such an exciting way to do that. I truly love my job at GCC (and I'll still be working there until June unless I manage to get myself fired before then) but I have been stagnating there to a degree and I want my next career to be more service oriented, a more immediate impact for good. We all know that Algebra can save the world!

Send me good wishes and prayers. I will need it all.

Jump

2012-01-20T16:41:00.000-06:00

The girls and friends are snaking hop scotch boards across the driveway, each trying for the longest. The weather has been so incredible this week. I'm not the only one confused by the unseasonable warmth, I've found blooms in my yard. Yay January?

Ghost Town

2012-01-20T07:44:00.000-06:00

I saw this band in passing at ACL a few years ago and thought they were nice but they didn't truly register for me. I just found their latest album this week and I can't get this song out of my head. So beautiful.

Talent

2012-01-17T18:30:00.001-06:00

Even eating a tortilla involves talent and creativity. Always.

McKinney Falls

2012-01-17T08:59:00.000-06:00

We took off to McKinney Falls on our MLK Monday. Probably an atypical time to see it for the first time considering the water is low from drought and winter time isn't conducive to swimming, but we thought it was great. I definitely want to see it again when trees are green, but the low water allowed us to see the interesting limestone formations in a very unique way. I'm sure most of that is covered when the water is running full. Great weather if a little cloudy and both girls were in super fantastic moods, making for a great family outing.

Cute

2012-01-14T11:10:00.000-06:00

The best kind of hamsters are weekend hamsters. We did the whole hamster thing a few years back and I am firmly in the never again camp. But babysitting the class pet for the weekend is much more tolerable.

Beautiful

2012-01-13T07:48:00.000-06:00

Lovely sunrise this morning. Makes me almost glad I'm awake.

Full

2012-01-12T19:46:00.000-06:00

I have been craving Freebird World Burritos for two days now. And now that I'm full my dark mood from the past two days is lifted. Coincidence? I think not.

Predictably Irrational

2012-01-12T11:35:00.001-06:00

Predictably Irrational, Revised and Expanded Edition: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions 1 Exp Rev edition by Dan Ariely
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book cover to cover. I love behavioral economics in general; I could read about it endlessly. His book especially I thought was fresh and readable and just plain old fascinating. Starting out I didn't agree with his general theme, that humans are not purely rational as traditional economics would assert. I felt that we do use cost benefit analysis to make most of our decisions, it's just that those factors are not always tangible. But he did showcase a few examples that changed my mind somewhat. Great book.

What I learned:
So much! Each chapter was something new that made me think about the forces behind my decisions. There are so many biases at work and I love unearthing them so that I can at least be aware of them next time I think I'm being "rational".

What I loved:
His writing style was very accessible and interesting. The topics were interesting and not always intuitive which makes for some entertaining and interesting surprises.

View all my reviews

Come Together

2012-01-11T12:29:00.001-06:00

I'll clean out the bitter by sharing a great quote my yoga teacher shared this morning. (I really should go to yoga after staff meetings and not before.)

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart.

- Pema Chödrön

I haven't read anything by her, but after reading through her quote page on Goodreads I certainly will be.

Fun

2012-01-11T12:20:00.000-06:00

Thought I'd share a fun moment from today's staff meeting. Which incidentally is really the first time I've spoken with my boss in the eight weeks since she informed me that my job is being yanked out from under me. She's classy that way. Anyway, first my boss totally went sugary on me about how some recent synthesis/analysis work I had done for the president (the kind of work one might reasonable expect to fit under my boss's job description) had been so great that the pres used it all during her convocation speech. And then directly after that I got to sit through my boss rambling about the future direction of the office, renovations, new hires, new office name, that will all culminate after I am to be gone. She told me she'd keep me in the loop. Needed my input on it all. How nice.

Fast

2012-01-10T07:37:00.000-06:00

My new, much needed runners are orange. This makes me very happy.

Choose

2012-01-07T18:36:00.001-06:00

Almost four hours of my day were spent on this bulletin board for the front of our primary room at church. Pretty deluxe if I do say so myself. Can't go wrong with buckets of glitter. I love the scriptures it references in Joshua. "Choose you this day whom you will serve... as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Every question brought up in primary seems to bring a chorus of responses, "choose the right!" (which is what the shield stands for) and it makes me smile every time.

Books 2011

2012-01-05T13:47:00.002-06:00

Yet another 2011 recap post. I read 34 books last year. Which is actually a smaller total than both 2009 and 2010. Probably a direct result of my uptick in time spent crocheting. If only leisure hours were more generous. In 2011 I read:

1 book of short stories
1 graphic novel
3 memoirs
4 non-fiction
25 novels

My favorite books were:

The Curse of the Good Girl by Rachel Simmons
Wild Swans (reread) by Jung Chang
The Tortilla Curtain by T.C. Boyle
Let the Great World Spin by Column McCann
State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
My Name is Asher Lev (reread) by Chaim Potok
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (reread) by Carson McCullers

New Territory

2012-01-04T17:27:00.000-06:00

You know you've entered a new phase of parenthood when your baby sings "na na na na na na na, I'm gonna start a fight..." to herself as she's washing her hands in the bathroom.

Or the discussion in the car on the way to piano lessons turns to why exactly "girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money".

Thank you Lego Rock Band.

Slippers

2012-01-04T13:01:00.000-06:00

Another crafty moment: slippers for my girls. In characteristic fashion, I busted my way through Sylvie's in a weekend, then it took me a few more weeks to work on Tessa's. Then they sat unfinished, waiting on just one flower for ages more until I sat down this afternoon to finish it. Why do I let things drag out so? I enjoy starting much more than finishing projects.

Words

2012-01-03T16:17:00.000-06:00

I think you can learn a lot about people by examining their Pinterest boards. My words board makes me laugh fully at myself. I am a contradiction. And snarky. But always hopeful...

My Favorite Albums of 2011

2012-01-02T18:14:00.000-06:00

It seems to get harder each year for me to cull my playlist and find my favorite albums of the year. Part of it is just the sheer number of albums and part of it is a inborn reluctance for me to name favorites - my listening is just too mood based. I love them all! (Spoken like a true mother.) But I have done my best and listed the best of the best below. The stuff that came out the last quarter of the year really didn't get a fair shake but that's life I guess.

I'll start with my two very favorites of the year. These are the albums that I simply cannot get enough of.

The Decemberists, The King is Dead
This album has killer songwriting by one of my favorite bands. Add to all that goodness the mega bonus of Gillian Welch guesting on most of the album and I'm sold. I saw them live earlier this year and it was my favorite show of the year. Crazy great show.

Adele, 21
It's hard to say what my favorite track is. Her vocals blow me away.
And as much as I loved her debut album, this one has a polish in the production that makes it amazing. Adele occasionally makes me feel guilty as if I'm flirting to close to main stream pop. But she's worth it.

This year seems to be a strong one for plain and simple songwriting. Just amazing songs all around. The two above certainly fall into this category, but there are a handful of others that I truly love as well.

Middle Brother, Middle Brother
This is one of those albums that I never think of as my favorite until I realize that each and every track is one I love. Funny thing is that two of the three band members released other albums with their main gig (Deer Tick and Dawes) and I don't really love either of those albums.

Tristen, Charlatans at the Garden Gate
Saw her earlier this year and I am enchanted with the whole album. Got a killer concert T too so that should be bonus points. Finding new artists like this is my favorite thing about my obsessive music listening habits.

Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit, Here We Rest
I would never categorize myself as a Jason Isbell fan, but I adore all his work, including his time with the Drive By Truckers, so I guess I need to wrap my head around it. Great songs. Great album.

Caitlin Rose, Own Side Now
Saw her in a tiny bar during SXSW earlier this year. She was literally five feet in front of me, not even on a stage but just standing in the middle of the room. I could listen to this album over and over, just lovely songs and I love her vocals too.

These are the albums that I turn to when I need something melancholy and beautiful.

Wye Oak, Civilian
The mood of this album is completely singular. I love the moody vocals and production. Beautiful.

Radiohead, King of Limbs
I'll admit that this album hasn't made it to adoration status for me yet. But I have no doubt that it will. Radiohead is a slow burn for me and it can take dozens of listens to unravel.

Alexi Murdoch, Towards the Sun
Just beautiful. I've heard a lot of comparisons between Murdoch and Nick Drake which are very apt. I love the quiet of this album.

Gillian Welch, The Harrow and the Harvest

I knew I would be a huge fan of Gillian Welch from the very first song I ever heard. I love her songs, her vocals, and David Rawlings beautiful guitar work. This new album is no exception. The beauty of it all is just indescribable.

These are the albums that make me smile. Crazy fun stuff that is just an absolute delight.

Cornershop, And the Double-O Groove Of
I've always loved Cornershop even though their catalog is pretty spotty. But this album with all the vocals done by Indian singer Bubbley Kuar is a complete delight. I am never sad when I listen to it.

Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside, Dirty Radio
I defy you to listen and not love it. Completely fresh. Completely infectious. Makes you wonder why there aren't more albums that sound just like it.

Beastie Boys, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two
If you have a half an hour to spare you must, must watch this video. I know, I know, who has a half an hour to spare? But it is so worth it. I am not a die hard Beastie Boys fan, but this album is all good. The film is crazy awesome too.

My Brightest Diamond, All Things Will Unwind
This album was a total surprise for me. So unusual and beautiful and quirky. Her label is Asthmatic Kitty, which was founded by my one true love Sufjan Stevens, and I can completely see his influence. The songs are completely unexpected and work in such a fantastic way.

You didn't the good times would end with just 14 albums, did you? My 2011 playlist is full of dozens of other albums that I am crushing on. Here's a list of other albums I love this year, in no particular order.

Jessica Lea Mayfield, Tell Me :: R.E.M., Collapse Into Now :: Say Hi to Your Mom, Um, Uh Oh :: Tapes 'n Tapes, Outside :: The Damnwells, No One Listens to the Band Anymore :: The Belle Brigade, The Belle Brigade :: Iron & Wine, Kiss Each Other Clean :: Dolorean, The Unfazed :: Telekinesis, 12 Desperate Straight Lines :: Hayes Carll, KMAG YOYO :: Sarah Jarosz, Follow Me Down :: Maritime, Human Hearts :: The Rural Alberta Advantage, Departing :: Frank Turner, England Keep My Bones :: Foo Fighters, Wasting Light :: Elbow, Build a Rocket Boys! :: TV on the Radio, Nine Types of Light :: Jill Andrews, The Mirror :: Eddie Vedder, Ukulele Songs :: Tinariwen, Tassili :: Bon Iver, Bon Iver :: King Creosote & Jon Hopkins, Diamond Mine :: Lisa Hannigan, Passengers :: Bjork, Biophilia :: Mutemath, Odd Soul :: Feist, Metals :: Wilco, The Whole Love :: We Are Augustines, Rise Ye Sunken Ships :: Fountains of Wayne, Sky Full of Holes :: Richard Buckner, Our Blood :: Steve Earle I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive :: Brett Dennen, Loverboy :: Death Cab for Cutie, Codes and Keys :: Black Keys, El Camino

You can see my entire 2011 playlist on Spotify here. If you haven't jumped into Spotify you really should. It's free for a basic membership and it's unbelievably awesome. Happy listening!

Amber does 2011

2012-01-01T11:14:00.000-06:00

Here I am at the end of my first year of OCD fabulousness, tracking lots of interesting and not-so-interesting tidbits on Daytum. And yes, I will be continuing with it in one fashion or another. I wasn't sure about that at the outset, or even if I'd make it all the way through 2011, but it definitely strikes a chord with me for myriad reasons. I'm not really in the mood to give a defense of the particularities of my personality that make this interesting and enjoyable for me. It just works for me, I expect very few to understand.

You can look through the whole year and beyond on my Daytum page here, but below I'll try to pull out some of the more interesting or surprising highlights as they strike me.

Misc

Despite all the comments about my hair matching my shirt, I actually wear blue and green tones the most. You think I should pull out the graph when people say that to me in the future?
I've eaten 95 oz of dark chocolate this year, averaging to about a quarter ounce a day. I don't eat it every day, but when I do I eat on average 0.6 oz, I think that's just about right.
I run 0.83 errands per day. These are mostly trips to stores or the library, ferrying kids to activities are not included. This seems like a low number to me and I like it that way. I do what I can to keep running about to a minimum.
Chick-Fil-A far and away wins the most frequented restaurant. I love it and it's cheap so that's not surprising. But I've also noticed that I'd rather try a new spot than go to a favorite. Most restaurants on my list only have one or two entries for the year. I eat out on average every three days which was really surprising and is way too frequent in my opinion. Not that I don't enjoy it, it's just an expensive habit.

Mind

I listened to 237 new albums this year. I realize that is a ridiculously large number - but I truly fell off the last of the year, just got saturated with keeping up with the new releases, so it could be a whole lot higher. That large number is also why I'm having a really hard time putting together a favorite albums of the year post.
I got crafty for 265 hours this year which is also a pretty high number. Mostly crochet and I'd be interested to see if that intensity can sustain itself but I'm major sick of tracking this so that will be an unknown. Tracking hours spent is must more difficult that just plain old widgets. Plus I multi-task a lot when I'm crocheting so calculating true hours spent is just a drag.
I watch a lot of TV - on average just under two episodes per day. I'm actually surprised that number's not higher but I suppose there are lots of days when I don't make it to the couch to veg. This is a number I'd like to see go down but the fact of the matter is that I just plain old enjoy it. I tend fall asleep when I read in the evenings so TV is a good way to unwind. The Daily Show is far and away my most frequented show, not surprising since it's just on all the time as compared with weekly sitcoms (and because it's awesome). My Netflix favs are on top of the list too for the same reason: easy access. I watched all four seasons of Mad Men recently and would keep going if I could - love that show.
I am a way more inconsistent magazine reader than I pretend in my head. I am sad at how many issues I miss. Yet I have subscribed to some new titles for 2012 (thanks to Amazon's $5 subscriptions this time of year) so apparently I am an optimist.
I read a lot. That is nothing new. 11,450 pages in 2011, which is about 33 pages a day.

Body

131 hours on the yoga mat this year, averaging out to only 20 minutes per day. I'd like to see that number go up but that's not likely considering the craziness 2012 may have in store for me. I really did expect to see that be a lot higher, one of my more disappointing outcomes. Daytum tells me I'm practicing every 3 and a half days or so, seems like that should be more frequent.
I ran 192 miles in 2011. A pretty puny number but I'll take it considering I really don't aspire to be a runner nor do I enjoy it much. But I do enjoy being outside, the easy access of running, how I feel when I'm done, and most importantly the countless hours of good conversation with my running partner (which is the real reason I run at all).
My body feels "good" only 57% of my days. That seems like it should be higher. Not that a "so-so" day keeps me from doing what needs to be done. But I have enough headaches and such to keep me from feeling tip top a lot of my days. Seems like I should be able to improve that but I just really don't know how.
Headaches are a whole other thing. I have medicated a headache a whopping 137 times this year. That just stinks.

Spirit

My only real goal when I started this project was to read my scriptures every day. Something I haven't achieved for more than a few weeks at a time since I was in high school. And I got so (!!!) close but there was one stinking day where I just plain and simple forgot. Ah well, that's still a pretty great outcome and that alone is worth the price of admission to this whole crazy Daytum project.
I spent 238 hours this year at church, on callings, and other church related stuff. That doesn't include scripture study or temple trips. I've only spent 67 hours on my calling in the primary presidency and that doesn't seem like a lot. (That 67 hours excludes the two out of three hours at church every week that I am physically working in primary.) I and the other members of the primary presidency do try to eliminate the "fluff" that can take up time without actual impact for the children. That plus the elimination church wide of quarterly activities has taken the time toll down significantly for this calling.

Mommy Life

I only cook about half the time. And most of that is non-recipe based or "easy" cooking as I call it. I need to stop whining. But probably won't.
I spent 38 nights away from home. Some for work, some for vacation - but all in all that is a pretty big total. That is one that will go down for sure in 2012.
I spent 205 hours this year doing what I think of as "mommy activities". Stuff that I'm doing only because I have kids and would certainly not be doing of my own free will and choice. Not that I begrudge this time (other than the hours spent at birthday parties, I do hate those), but it's just mommy stuff and not Amber stuff.

I'll be dropping off several items for tracking in 2012 and picking up a few new ones, I haven't sorted out the particulars quite yet. If I were truly honest I'd track treats consumed or fruits and vegs or even my weight, but I am not ready for that level of reality yet. But all in all I really like seeing how reality matches up with perception in my daily habits. It really does change my level of mindfulness, which is always my goal.

The Road

2011-12-31T20:23:00.000-06:00

The Road by Cormac McCarthy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Nothing like ringing in the new year with a post-apocalyptic book. Cheery! When this book came out and there was so much buzz about it I had little desire to read it. But it came across my nightstand at just the right moment so I gave it a shot. I'm so glad I did. It was incredibly rich and worthwhile. Enjoyable seems like the wrong type of word considering the subject matter, but the language was simply incredible and the format of the book is very accessible.

What I learned:
There's an incredible amount in these pages about life. I love books that take humanity to its very essential frame and examine it. How would I behave in such dire circumstances? What does that tell me about how I navigate my days from my exceedingly cushy vantage point?
There's also a great deal about parenthood in the novel. What would you do for your children? What are the limits of mercy? How many of my "ethical" choices are relative to my circumstances?

What I loved:
The language. Some of McCarthy's short passages were breathtaking.
The questions. I like books that make me think.
The boy's voice. He was truly the embodiment of the best of human nature. It was so important to have a child in the story. Even though the book is heavy and dark, I think the author is showing an optimistic point of view by including him.

A favorite passage:
No lists of things to be done. The day is providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth is grief and ashes. So, he whispered to the sleeping boy. I have you.

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1Q84

2011-12-30T20:38:00.003-06:00

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It is so hard for me to describe what I love about Murakami's books. I definitely do not recommend them unless you appreciate the bizarre. This one was slightly less surreal and fantastical than some of his other titles, but still had lots of his characteristic craziness. It is long enough that I had to pace myself rather than rush through it, but I really enjoyed it all the way through. The characters were intriguing and the plot was great. Wild and strange, but great.

I am a total sucker for a romance plot line with separated lovers struggling to be reunited. There is so much to be drawn from examining the characters. One of my favorite passages is near the end. I'd consider it something of a spoiler alert except I doubt anyone I know would want to read this book.

It was such a long time, Aomame thought.

It was such a long time, Tengo thought too. At the same time, though, he noticed how the twenty years that had passed now held no substance. it had passed by in an instant, and took but an instant to be filed in.

...Tengo once again keenly felt the mind's ability to relativize time. Twenty years was a long time. But Tengo knew that if he were to meet Aomame in another twenty years, he would feel the same way he did now. Even if they were both over fifty, he would still feel the same mix of excitement and confusion in her presence. His heart would be filed with the same joy and certainty.

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Carnage

2011-12-30T18:35:00.001-06:00

Witness the carnage that once was two gingerbread houses. Someone call FEMA.

Moment of the day

2011-12-30T12:59:00.000-06:00

Georgeous day calls for being outside. The girls are rocking the park while I catch up on some neglected magazines. I absolutely adore the nothingness of this week between Christmas and New Year's. Love not working, love putting the house back in order, love having no agenda.

Moment of the day

2011-12-28T19:27:00.001-06:00

Evening walk through the neighborhood to see the last of the Christmas lights

SoCo and BBQ

2011-12-27T20:56:00.000-06:00

We took a little sister time today and went window shopping on South Congress. I don't get enough of my sisters so it's been fabulous to hang out and stay up too late and generally enjoy their company. Ben, don't you feel left out? We would have found a hat for you too.

My dad and sisters head home tomorrow so we took our last night together and headed out to the Salt Lick for some delish BBQ. It's been a lovely visit all around, so glad they could come.

Future Longhorn

2011-12-26T16:15:00.000-06:00

Xandy asked to visit her current obsession and future home, the University of Texas. We had fun frolicking around on the grass near the turtle pond. Another beautiful and sunny day even though the forecast said rain. Yay for sunshine!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T16:09:00.000-06:00

Happy Gingerbread Day

2011-12-24T14:56:00.000-06:00

Back row houses: Tessa, Sylvie, Haley; Front row houses: Xandy, Anna

Total win for gingerbread day this year. I woke up this morning to a little rain which made me nervous after last year's cluster of humidity related fiascoes. But everything worked like a charm. I am apparently gaining gingerbread related wisdom as the years march on. I made five houses again this year after swearing I wouldn't ever again last year. But I had many helping hands and it went super smooth. Yay us! Anna had some trouble with a collapsing roof, but she is tenacious and totally made it work. Tessa and Sylvie complained about my OCD need to buy only red and green candy but I still think they look great (and will do the same next year). We also added jolly rancher stained glass windows this year which was a nice touch. Next year we'll have to add a sun room or something to up the ante.

I use four batches of this recipe for icing and it was absolute perfection for construction and this is my favorite all time gingerbread recipe although I halve the ginger and cloves (quadrupled as well made just barely five houses). It stays good for weeks even sitting out. Our gingerbread is for eating, not just looking in this house.

Town Lake

2011-12-23T11:33:00.000-06:00

Crazy gorgeous day yesterday afternoon and we capitalized on it in a big way by heading down to Town Lake to rent canoes. So much fun. Absolutely no other way to say it.

Xandy was determined to catch one of the hundreds of turtles that sun themselves along the water's edge. And at the last minute she made it happen. I think she was as surprised as we were.

We stopped off by Sugar Mama's on the way home. I know I'll get push back on this one, but they truly get my vote for best cupcake. Better than Hey Cupcake. Jack's Lemon is among my favorite desserts ever. Mmmm.

Love my sisters with a fiery passion from deep inside my pancreas!

Need

2011-12-22T09:29:00.000-06:00

This Christmas I am very clear about what I want and what I NEED...

Today

2011-12-20T19:56:00.001-06:00

More than one moment to my day. Some last minute shopping, a class party, and hanging out at home. Good day.

Sweet musical girl

2011-12-15T19:58:00.000-06:00

Sylvie is such an enigma. They say girls are made of sugar and spice but I like to think of Sylvie as sweet and sour. Which is one of her favorite dinners so I guess that works. She does have a lot of anxiety and other emotional volcanoes, but underneath it all is the most incredibly sweet and caring girl. She has given me more hugs in her short life than I could ever deserve.

It is true that siblings seem to differentiate and I think Sylvie has always lived under the shadow of Tessa being the "artisitic" one, but she's come into her own lately and I find her drawing a good portion of her free time. She usually won't share her pictures with any of us, but she did show me this Christmas card which I fell in love with. She's always humming under her breath or tapping with her fingers whatever song she's assigned in piano that week - music runs in this girl's soul. I am a little envious of her gift and I'm wondering how long it is until she's a better pianist than I am. Not that that's a very high bar. Ah, I love this girl!

Funny, funny, sweet girl

2011-12-15T19:18:00.000-06:00

I need to tell y'all how adorable my Tessa is. First of all, she genuinely uses the word "y'all" and it doesn't even annoy me - I actually find it endearing. She is just funny and kind and easy going and just pretty amazing all around. There are of course some negative adjectives hidden in there too but nothing much out of the ordinary kid stuff.

Exhibit A: Her class is having a sock exchange party tomorrow and she couldn't be just content with wrapping up a pair of socks, she had to write a instruction manual to go with them. Yes, an instruction manual for socks. Transcribed below:

As rightful owners of Fred (right) and Joe (left) I give you this manual. You will need it. To take care of Fred and Joe you must serve them one teaspoon of pure cocoa powder each day. You must put them to bed at 8:32 pm each day or they will get cranky. I have enclosed there favorite toy in this card. (A purple rubber band taped inside the card) During winter season you must put them o your feet. Do that or they will get cold. Joe is lactose entolorent and Fred is allergict to peanuts. Take care and Merry Christmas.

Exhibit B: Next week there is a slipper day at school and I have been crocheting slippers for both girls to wear per their request. Dave didn't key in to this fact and offered Tessa his moose slippers to wear which she eagerly accepted. My feelings were minorly hurt and Tessa I guess got the message. She is usually one to avoid conflict or even the resolution of conflict, but I found this note on my pillow when I got home last night. I laughed out loud. Sweet girl.

Iz beez havin' bad grammar.
I iz gonna not wear dads moose slippers. Iz gona wear yours! Sowwy!

Moment of the day

2011-12-15T09:53:00.001-06:00

Rainy, rainy, rainy day. It's lovely.

Year in Review 2011

2011-12-14T09:04:00.000-06:00

I'm having a hard time deciding what flavor 2011 has been for my annual Year in Review post. Some years seem to be landmark or pivotal but this year just flew by, not sticking in my head as particularly one thing or the other. I am also in extreme forward thinking mode as the next year has a lot of stuff coming so I'm probably not giving cute little 2011 its due.

We seem to all be generally intact and doing well. Dave is enjoying his job a lot and that is a great thing. He is logging lots of miles running each week as always. He is more stalwart as a runner than I could ever completely understand. This year he ran marathons in Tulsa and Salt Lake, numbers four and five in his illustrious career. I have noticed things with professional sports are not superb this year, but you'd have to ask him about that since I seem to have stopped even pretending to pay attention.

The girls are doing really great in school and are generally amazing each and every day. They celebrated birthdays ten and seven this year. I am fully aware that these are the "good" years between diapers and hormones; trust that I live every day reveling in that fact. Tessa has loved choir this year in both 4th and 5th grade. Sylvie is still in love with the piano, she really has a gift for it. (Tessa is still playing but love is not the best adjective there even though she is a really good pianist.) Sylvie tried out tap dance classes but in the end it wasn't completely her thing. The girls have had a lot of highlights but I would imagine our snow day and blue hole would be among their favorites. And of course our big trip to Utah/Wyoming to visit family and friends.

My banner event of the year was without a doubt hiking the Grand Canyon. I've said more than enough on that topic but it was absolutely magical. I also had a great girls' weekend in San Antonio for my birthday. I guess it was a good year. If you're just tuning in, the work thing is a little crazy for me right now as I've just found out my job will be ending in June. I am optimistic that things will work out for the best. And of course 2011 was the year I unveiled more of the crazy and embarked on my epic Daytum project. I'll write more about that later as the year wraps up.

We're slowly working on the house still. This has become a definite slow burn with me rather than a consuming frenzy like it was in our Phoenix house. We had a carpenter redo our fireplace this year and it is lovely, lovely, lovely. But the family room is still not painted and that has prevented me from taking good pictures to show off. Maybe next year. The yard is a blah holding pattern as we've had an absolutely horrid drought this year and the plants are far from happy. It's been bad enough to slightly dent my rosy estimation of my beloved Austin.

I hope this busy but wonderful Christmas seasons finds all our friends and family well. I realized just this last week that Christmas cards didn't quite make my list of things to do this year. Perhaps every other year will have to be good enough. But I hope you all know that here in Austin there are fond wishes and love for each and every one of you. Merry Christmas!

Moment of the day

2011-12-13T11:53:00.000-06:00

Another foggy day to run in. I've been enjoying much the wintery weather. Just cold enough for yummy scarves but not cold enough to qualify as winter any place other than the sun belt.

Christmas past

2011-12-13T10:21:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling nostalgic so I went through some old Christmas photos and found these gems. This was 2004 and it's hard to believe my girls have grown so much.

Tessa has always been an artist. Here she is as an adorable 3 year old, drawing a picture of the tiny nativity set you can see on the table next to her. She did this more than once and it kept her occupied for many hours that Christmas.

Sylvie's first Christmas. She was (and is) such a cutie.

Yet another Adele song

2011-12-13T08:33:00.002-06:00

I would call her songs a guilty pleasure but I have no guilt...

Moment of the day

2011-12-09T11:56:00.000-06:00

I haven't been running at town lake in forever. But it felt like the exact right thing to do this morning. I don't think you can see it in the picture, but someone has painted a mural on the side of the bridge that says "focus on one point and breathe ". Good advice. There was another one further down that said "let's all pretend we're robots". Love it.

5th Grade Musical

2011-12-08T14:01:00.000-06:00

Tessa was in the 5th Grade choir musical performance today. Twas the Crazy Night Before Christmas I believe was the title. And crazy it was. Tessa was a "detective dancer" during the scene where they tried to figure out who the impostors were among the three claiming to be Santa. She had an absolute blast during the performance as well as the practices and hard work leading up to today. It makes me happy to see her really loving something. You can spot her in the pictures by her giant curtain of hair.

Decisions

2011-12-08T07:36:00.000-06:00

I haven't been sleeping well and that is a sure sign that things are askew in my head. I almost never have trouble sleeping but here it is. How nice. I understandably have a lot brewing in my noggin with new job/career prospects and game plans darting about. I'm not really *worried* about what to do next, I know I have a lot of time yet (since my job doesn't end until June). But I do like things to be settled so indecision is always an extremely uncomfortable place for me. No matter what the choice is, I do a pretty exhaustive overview of the options and then decide fairly immediately. For better or for worse. For shopping and the like this process works pretty well, but for major life decisions I realize I need to pace myself a bit. What? Patience?

At this moment in time I am considering strongly becoming certified to teach middle or high school math rather than continue in Institutional Research. It just feels like time for a change. Teaching math was my original plan when I earned my bachelor's degree forever ago, I just got distracted for 12 years or so by an awesome job. I feel passionately about education, especially math education. So doing something that has true impact feels worth the tremendous effort it will require to get myself certified for the classroom, the longer working day, as well as an hourly pay cut. Way to sell it, Amber!

The big problem is it's hard to jump into a significant cost (meaning all resources: financial, time, burden on my family, as well as my sanity) when the benefit is something of an unknown. I of course don't really know how well suited I am for teaching or if the realities of managing today's classroom will be a bigger negative than the theoretical joy from passing on a love of geometry and calculus. I don't think there are always "right" choices in big life decisions. You just pick your path and utilize Grace to live with karma that arises. I am being prayerful and thoughtful about my decision. I know that whatever path I choose, my Heavenly Father will give me the resources to deal with the good and bad ahead.

Moment of the day

2011-12-05T15:13:00.001-06:00

It's cold outside. A good afternoon for a cup of herbal tea and a magazine.

Moment of the day

2011-12-03T18:09:00.000-06:00

Christmas tree. Festive.

Which is truer?

2011-12-03T08:50:00.001-06:00

The Flaming Lips - Waitin' For A Superman by Warner-Music

Coldplay - Waiting For A Superman (Flaming Lips... by biscote36

om mani padme hum

2011-12-01T14:24:00.000-06:00

I have made a concerted effort over the past few years to be a more open person. Social connection doesn't always come easy or naturally for me, but I have made a real effort to share more of myself with those around me. Blogging has been a big part of this, but I have also sought out more social outlets and strong friendships. I am one who feels love through quality time in the form of meaningful conversation (thank you Five Love Languages) so this effort has been very beneficial for me; positive growth indeed. But along with the good, there is a negative side affect that I have been trying to combat. I have learned to share more of myself and my thoughts on those things that affect me directly, but I have also found myself with too many quickly formed negative and judgmental opinions on others. I think it is a natural human condition to discuss those around us. It is part of how we learn about ourselves to compare and contextualize. I don't think this is necessarily wrong nor do I think talking about others always falls under the category of "gossip". But I don't want trite or judgmental comments to be part of my language or thought processes.

To remind my self to stay elevated in my speech and thought, I bought a ring last year with the Tibetan prayer of compassion inscribed on it. Om mani padme hum is means many things, but at it's root is the message of compassion, which I think translates best to the LDS tradition as charity, or generally as love. The ring has an outer ring that spins around the inner ring; the movement is said to invoke the prayer as well as if it were spoken aloud in the tradition of the prayer wheels in Tibet. It has served as a touchstone for me to keep compassion, charity, love for my fellow man at the forefront of my choices.

Moment of the day

2011-11-30T08:50:00.001-06:00

As I sit in my office today listening to not even digital music on my PC, but streaming music that I don't even "own", I am struck by how rarely I consult the gigantic wall of CDs only a few feet away from me. Evolution?

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

2011-11-29T22:25:00.001-06:00

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I love this book. This is my second reading and I know there is still more to glean from it. This time through I was really struck by the loneliness, the solitude of all of the characters. It was heartbreaking how they each thought they had a singular confidant, who ultimately (perhaps?) didn't understand them at all. But it was also amazing how incredibly important it was to have that one person who *understands*, who knows you. Very true.

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Thanksgiving

2011-11-29T16:36:00.000-06:00

It is a shame that this is really all I've got to offer for photo documentation of our Thanksgiving. It was a lovely and chaotic day and my camera was the farthest thing from my thoughts. So here you have the motley and rather sad "kid" table. The adults got the all the fanciness that will I suppose only live in memory. I so rarely make a fuss out of table presentation that it really is too bad. Ah well.

After our epic trip to visit family and friends last year, I was feeling rather sad at the notion of a small, lonely Thanksgiving at home. So I invited three families of friends who all willingly accepted and it became a big, happy, festive Thanksgiving at home. 18 total and it was no small feat to find a spot for everyone. But food was delicious and plentiful. I only had to do the turkey and stuffing. And pies of course. It was impossibly hard to whittle down my selections to only two as I am accustom to making all the pies. This year I made my favorite lemon meringue and a new chocolate cheesecake that was divine. Kinda messy to cut, but soooo worth it. The preparations for the day were a lot, but it was a great holiday. Good friends are big part of what I am grateful for in this life.

I reflected a lot in the weekend after our feast on how different my life will be come next Thanksgiving. My youngest sister will be living with us while she starts off on her college education. My mom will also be moving to Austin because she knows that's where all the cool people live (or maybe Austin will finally be completely awesome when she joins us). I will (hopefully) have a new job or possibly even a new career. I will have a middle schooler (gasp). I like change, but that is a lot to be sure. Gratitude and a lot of deep breathing will carry me through.

Worky

2011-11-29T16:20:00.000-06:00

It is difficult when I am working in Phoenix to maintain significant contact with my girls. They are getting to be better phone talkers, but it's still far from ideal as conversations quickly spiral into "What did you do at school today?" and "Nothing". This last trip I started taking a lot of pictures to text back to them so they could better see my week, an attempt at new vein of communication. Little did I know that I would be losing my job and the result would be a bitter sweet homage to my lovely little job. I will miss campus.

Moment of the day

2011-11-29T15:49:00.000-06:00

Behold the chaos that is chess club. I had to mediate more than one "I don't want to play with a girl/boy" dispute today. Both genders are thick with cookies at this age in my opinion.

Breath, Eyes, Memory

2011-11-21T16:14:00.001-06:00

Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

There was a fair bit about this book that I enjoyed. But in the end I did not feel the emotion that I felt the author must be trying to portray. I felt like the female-ness of the characters was key to their Haitian experience, but there were virtually no male characters to give me the proper context. I felt like there was too much left unexplained.

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My awesome week at work

2011-11-19T23:07:00.000-06:00

I just got back from Phoenix and it was not one of my best weeks at work. In a nutshell, I got to fly to Phoenix (at my own expense mind you) to be ignored by my boss and the rest of the college leadership and then finally informed that I will be losing my job. Strangely, as I write this I am not in a completely dark place about the whole experience. I know things will turn out alright and perhaps even for the better in the long run.

I've worked for Glendale Community College for over 12 years now. I started there fresh out of college and no idea what I was getting in to. But I had two great bosses and mentors that helped me turn Institutional Research into a career that I love. I was set to quit work altogether when I had Tessa over 10 years ago but my first boss asked me if I would be willing to try working part time, the majority of it from home. It wasn't always easy with a babe underfoot, but I really enjoyed working in general and my job specifically. The college created a half time position just for me and it worked out to be mutually beneficial. That worked for several years and then three years ago when we moved to Austin my second boss told me he couldn't live without me and made it possible for me to work from Austin even though such an arrangement was rather rogue for the college. The arrangement has worked well but we have a new college president and she is reorganizing our office in a pretty big way. I'm basically being forced out. I have strong opinions on this but I'm not sure how to articulate them without seeming like a whining egomaniac.

Anyway, my trip started out with three days where my boss was completely out of the office and everyone else higher up in administration was avoiding me. I should have seen the writing on the wall because one of my other co-workers had just been re-orged to another department and I was hearing rumors about the president ceasing all telecommuting across campus. (Not that there is that much, I'm one of the very few doing it a majority of the time.) Thursday ended up being a tragi-comedy of sorts. It was my co-worker's last day and my boss was also ignoring her (classy) so I had planned a going away lunch for her and arrange for a gift. About two hours before the lunch the HR director walked into our office and asked my boss if now was a good time to meet with me and her. And in that instant the floor fell out from under me. I knew this could be no good. They took me back to her office in the course of five minutes or so informed me that my position would now be full-time and telecommuting was no longer an option. So I have to move to Phoenix and work full-time if I want to keep my job. And honestly, I had to laugh that they told me that they want me to stay on. They even told me that "some people would commute". Yeah. That's gonna happen. They told me that I am "very important to the college". Um, awesome way of showing it. The one glorious bright spot it all of this is that I have a signed contract from the former president agreeing to my telecommuting arrangement until June and so my job will be kept in it's current state until then. Thank goodness (!!!) my wonderful boss put that document in place for me. Otherwise I'm sure my re-org would be effective in November like my co-worker and I'd be all kinds of out of work right now. This way I have a lot of time to plan and prepare and figure out what my next big move will be.

So I cried for the first time ever at work. I totally lost it and couldn't get my composure for a couple of hours. I walked for a long time and then hid in my car until I could handle myself. I'm not sure why it felt so raw but it was really hard to process. Doesn't feel so good when a job that was created specifically for you is taken away by people that (in my opinion) are not well informed enough to really do that. I'm going to (reluctantly) stop my editorial here because a) I am still employed by these people, and b) I truly do not think the world will cease functioning without me. Just cease functioning well :-)

So back to Thursday, one of my co-workers blessedly went and un-invited my boss from our lunch and it ended up being a good-bye slightly bigger and more bitter than I had planned, but good. After lunch I pulled myself together and went to present to a college committee and smiled through their comments and praise about how much they like working with me and what a great job I do. Nice. Friday was "normal". Meaning my boss pretended that nothing had happened and tried to talk to me about how weird everything was with the new president not really landing on what she wanted our office to look like yet and how the atmosphere was "awkward" on campus. Ya think? (I'm self editing here again. Bitterness seeping through.) And then at noon Friday I walked out of the office without saying a word to anyone because all my co-workers had disappeared without telling me where they were going. Good bye all.

Let me recap my current state since I've gone on too long as per usual. I am mad. I feel like they are making a stupid choice and I want them suffer and explode in ruin when they realize how much work I've been doing and how no one will be able to replicate my quality of work for years to come. What was that I said about being an egomaniac? Sorry. I am also hugely grateful that I have months to figure the next chapter. I am feeling nervous because I don't know what the next chapter will be. I am also beginning to be the teensiest bit excited about the prospect of change. I haven't been very happy in my position since my last boss left but too comfortable to do anything about it. Thanks for the nudge, universe.

More to come later I'm sure as I process. But good to write this down while my bitterness is still fresh enough to make for entertaining prose.

True

2011-11-17T21:37:00.001-06:00

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1 Corinthians 13:12

Biking and treats

2011-11-12T16:42:00.000-06:00

I got home from yoga today and found Tessa and her friend laying on the couch, "bored". I asked them if they wanted to go for a bike ride and they jumped up quick. Taking my cue from their enthusiasm I thought we'd push it and I offered to take them to our favorite frozen yogurt shop, about 2.25 miles away. The girls have certainly been tearing up the neighborhood on their bikes the past few months, but they haven't done much distance or real destination biking. They did great and had a great time. We stopped at a neighborhood park on the way back, adding to the fun of the afternoon. There was one hill on the way back and they were both worn out by it, but I was impressed. Tessa said we need to go every Saturday from now on. Gorgeous, gorgeous weather.

Moment of the day

2011-11-11T11:54:00.001-06:00

Haircut! I've been growing out my hair and have actually been pretty happy with the process, and but it always feels great to have a fresh cut.

Moment of the day

2011-11-10T17:05:00.001-06:00

I bought these beautiful photographs when I was in San Antonio and I've finally found frames for them. Kinda funny that I went all the way to San Antonio to buy photographs of Austin. It feels good to put some more personal touches in the house. My creativity in that vein has been somewhat dormant. And of course the family room project is still on hold until I save up to hire a painter. I am not in the mood to tackle two story walls.

Moment of the day

2011-11-06T19:02:00.001-06:00

What is about 2nd grade and Bon Jovi? Both my girls thought they were the best band in the world at this age. Sylvie is a karaoke star in the making. She'll play rock band by herself just singing for hours. She sings along with the radio in the car all the time too and I adore her for it.

Blankies

2011-11-06T13:28:00.002-06:00

Since I'm documenting my craftiness, I thought I'd showcase two other blankets I've made this last year. And the super cute babes that enjoy them. I really love making baby blankets because they're not quite so large in scale and also because it's just precious to make a keepsake. Nothing quite like a baby blankie.

Kinda sad that I wasn't really feeling the crafty vibe back in the day and my own girls' blankies were store bought. But then again since Tessa's got lost at a motel in Wyoming several years ago and Sylvie's is in complete tatters from some *serious* love, maybe it's for the best.

More crafty

2011-11-06T13:18:00.000-06:00

So yes, technically this was supposed to be a Christmas gift for last year, but in my defense I practically made Tessa's blanket twice. First I was making a version of Sylvie's blanket with colors of Tessa's choosing. But then as I was almost done I lost a bunch of the circles and was so incredibly sick of piecing Sylvie's together that starting completely over honestly sounded like less work. I really like the pattern and colors that Tessa chose. I always seem to get bored of big projects like this before I can finish them. I need to start making dish towels or something. Toilet paper roll covers maybe? Save me now.

Saturday

2011-11-06T13:08:00.000-06:00

We visited the Capital of Texas Zoo yesterday. A little different than a typical zoo, but Texas seems to excel in the arena of small family run zoos. They had a handful of albino animals which I always find intriguing and strange. But my favorite was strangely the guinea pigs. Mostly because it's super weird to see guinea pigs at the zoo, but also because seeing them run around on the ground just seemed silly to me. Made me laugh. Sylvie has really wanted a guinea pig for a while now and I told her if they would live in the back yard my answer would be yes. That is certainly where rodents belong.

We also went to the Texas Science Festival downtown and it was fun. Probably a bit too much for one day with my grumpy Sylvie, but still glad we went. Lots of hands on fun and things to see.

Moment of the day

2011-11-05T19:51:00.001-05:00

Date night with my big girl. She required a Cinnabon. And shopping. And chit chat. Good times.

Moment of the day

2011-11-05T12:26:00.001-05:00

Sylvie is having one of those days. She needs her mommy. I'm okay with that.

Song for your Friday

2011-11-04T10:36:00.003-05:00

Moment of the day

2011-11-03T18:37:00.001-05:00

Tessa won't let me take pictures of her anymore. I feel like a hypocrite for pushing her because I remember the sentiment all too well. But she shares her candy so I still love her.

Moment of the day

2011-11-02T16:46:00.001-05:00

I am sick of the car. I'm sure this is nothing impressive to you veteran road warrior parents, but I am just really sick of the car. I'm car sick from riding to San Antonio and blah from being mom the taxi. Yay.

Moment of the day

2011-11-01T17:58:00.001-05:00

New phone! See my happy grin? I do love new gadgets. You'll have to bear with the typos as I get used to a virtual keyboard. Love my new Droid with the rediculously long name. Samsung Epic Galaxy S II 4G Touch or something like that. The iPhone just wasn't enough to tempt me away. And that's saying a lot.

Halloween

2011-11-01T07:48:00.000-05:00

My cute angel/devil. I would argue that the percentage of angel is actually higher than represented in this costume. Most days at least. Perhaps not last night when she tried to sneak her gigantic haul of candy into her bed with her.

And dear Hermione. I crimped her hair last weekend and it was pretty cool but the crazy day (and a big fat headache on my part) didn't allow for it last night. I don't think it hampered her candy collecting ability so she didn't care much.

Lots of fun with friends on the street. Best Halloween ever according to both my girls.

Pumpkins

2011-10-30T17:15:00.000-05:00

Pumpkin carving time. We had some neighbors over for dinner last night and then had lots of gooey fun carving pumpkins. The girls were all insistent on doing it themselves from design to execution and they did a pretty good job. Dave cut the tops off and got them started, I roasted the seeds and helped out a little with the guts, but they did do most of it on their own. Thank goodness for safety carving knives. They were all beaming with pride when we lit them up.

Poor guy

2011-10-29T14:26:00.000-05:00

I just had to post this picture from karaoke last night. The expression on the poor guy second from the right just cracks me up. The set list did seem to favor musicals, angry girl country ballads, and 80s pop favorites. I'd be frowning too if I were him.

Moment of the day

2011-10-29T14:21:00.001-05:00

I love that first pot of chili each autumn. And I love even more that the weather is cool enough to enjoy it.

Moment of the day

2011-10-28T21:22:00.000-05:00

I seem to have a lot of friends that love karaoke. More good times at the Highball. Tonight we enjoyed the "New Wave" room.

Grapes of Wrath

2011-10-28T08:57:00.001-05:00

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I can't believe I've never read this book until now. Completely and staggeringly beautiful. The language was incredible, the story unforgettable. An amazingly important book. I really did love every minute of it.

View all my reviews

Oh my Satellite

2011-10-27T13:37:00.000-05:00

Moment of the day

2011-10-25T19:10:00.001-05:00

The newest book from one of my favorite authors came out today - 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. One more pebble in my I love Amazon jar as I heard the package thud on my doorstep this afternoon. I usually sweep through his books, but considering this one clocks in at 925 pages I might have to pace myself. And find a new position to read in. It's heavy enough to give me a stomache ache the way I usually lay down and prop it on my tummy.

Moment of the day

2011-10-24T15:17:00.002-05:00

I took one more day off work to sleep off the rest of this flu. And sleep I did. Despite the fact that the neighborhood dogs decided to hold choir practice today, I took a solid four hour nap and woke up feeling human again. And hungry. For donuts. I lost more weight during this weekend flu than I did in 2 months of P90X so it seems appropriate.

Moment of the day

2011-10-22T20:25:00.001-05:00

Just survived the church chili cook-off/carnival/trunk or treat. This has been a day to behold. I am wicked sick (although slightly better than yesterday as I am able to stand upright). Plus I had a ton of preparations for tonight. Plus I survived shoe shopping with my girls which required significant negotiations. Plus I haven't been able to eat a real meal in two days now. Plus my girls each brought friends tonight, significantly altering the adult/child ratio. Plus Dave is in Dallas for a Cowboys game so I'm the only grown up. Obviously feeling whiny here. But I am now tucked away in bed and that brings a smile to my sad face. I can hear my girls sweetly sorting and swapping candy and that makes me happy. Always a few things to make me smile. Always...

I love this song

2011-10-20T09:48:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to me

2011-10-16T19:56:00.000-05:00

As a birthday present to myself, I invited some great friends to go to San Antonio with me for the weekend. It was a wonderful few days away from regular life. Lots of eating and talking and shopping and meandering and pampering and just general good times. And did I mention talking? I do have an affinity for words and I got in more than my fair share. Thanks friends for being such great listeners. And for making room in the trunk when I bought too much stuff.

5th Grade Choir

2011-10-16T19:13:00.001-05:00

Tessa enjoyed 4th grade choir so much last year that there was absolutely no doubt about doing 5th grade choir this semester. The teacher does such a great job with the kids. They had their first concert on Thursday; it was a joy to watch.

Home is where the heart is

2011-10-16T13:41:00.001-05:00

Moment of the day

2011-10-14T09:00:00.001-05:00

This is breakfast. I'm starting to appreciate Texas style.