19 weeks


I guess it's time to write here on my sliver of the internet that I am pregnant again. It's almost as though last year's pregnancy and this have merged and I have been feeling rather meh for half my life. Which has been tough. The good part is that I am now in my second trimester and am feeling better by leaps and bounds. The fatigue is still a thing, but certainly pales in comparison to the bone crushing exhaustion of the first trimester. (I don't particularly want to expand on the first trimester more. It's just no fun, eh?) I am visibly pregnant by this point thanks to this being number three for me, and am talking about it openly with my friends and students, but it is still hard for me to 100% sink into the excitement. There are still moments and even days when I am convinced the baby has died and I'm about to have my heart crushed again. That doesn't make a lot of rational sense and this point, but it persists none the less. Due to my "advanced maternal age" we had genetic screening back at 12 weeks and everything came out perfectly so that was a big sigh of relief. It's just proving hard to not expect the worst. I have never considered myself much of a worrier but this pregnancy has certainly challenged that view of myself. The past few days I've been felling what I'm pretty sure is Baby Girl tumbling around in my belly, so that will help once her movement is obvious and regular. It will also help my mood when I no longer have to wake up at 5:30 to get Sylvie off to school :-)


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