It is finals week which is a gleeful time for me. Four hours of watching students take tests and then my afternoons free to enjoy the sunshine. The one time of year I have the possibility of getting bored at work. To breathe.

Teachers like to darkly joke about how you can never have another first year and that is a true and joyful thing. This year has been light years easier than last and my work/life balance has been much improved. I am no longer running around like a chicken with her head cut off and can reflect and plan more strategically. I've got a shot at being good at this thing. I'm already feeling reflective about this year with plans and improvements in the works rather than just dead from the exhaustion of the year.

I have lost the illusion that teaching will ever be a normal job. It will continue to be exhausting and difficult in a non-comprehensible way. I have made permanent sacrifices that sometimes grieve me. At the forefront of that list is the energy I've lost to be directed towards my girls. I am simply not as good of a mom and probably won't regain that before it's too late. I am hoping that there is some kind of karmic balance to be achieved with my girls when they witness the dedication I feel towards the students I serve. Perhaps.

For now I am full of delicious butterflies in my stomach over the prospect of a summer to recharge. Anyone who things teachers are lazy for getting summers off has surely never witnessed the profession first hand. It is a necessity. My summer is a busy one (of course) but surely none of it will be spent reminding teenagers how to multiply by negative one.


Denise said...

Amen to that my friend! Teaching is in its own category. You deserve every second you have off. Enjoy your summer!

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