Letting it go


School is going well for me. I was super un-impressed with the online course I took to get me up to snuff with my Math, but now we've started meeting face to face to learn more about the actual business of teaching. My estimation of the program is picking up and I'm feeling energized about the process. I had forgotten how much fun school is with regards to meeting new people and the camaraderie involved. We'll be seeing each other around a dozen hours a week so will be getting to know each other very well. There are almost 40 of us in the secondary education cohort and 4 of us in 8-12 grade Math.

I've had a lot of questions about how I'm getting it all done. I am super busy but it hasn't been completely hectic. And of course I've had to let some things go. List time!

  • Reading magazines. This makes me sad but there are only so many hours in the day. I hate not knowing anything about current events. I still skim the news headlines, but that's about it. 
  • Crochet. Makes me sad too, but it's not like it's super vital. Or going anywhere for that matter. I can have useless old lady hobbies another year.
  • Grocery shopping. Not like this was ever high on my priority list to begin with, but I can't think of the last time I sat down and planned out a week of meals and then shopped accordingly. We are working on emergency need milk status only and eating a lot of pathetic dinners.
  • Cleaning the house. Again, not as if this was ever a major preoccupation for me but things are a little grimier than I'm accustom too.
  • Budgeting and bills. Thank goodness for auto-pay or we might not have utilities any more.
  • Mostly it's just the little niceties that are gone. I am running at a much higher percentage of efficiency which is fine until something goes wrong. This morning Sylvie could not find her assignment folder and her ensuing panic crippled the morning. It took me an hour and a half to convince her to go to school and the rest of the day will see the ripple effect of this time lost. This has happened with her before and I'm sure it will happen again. I am getting better at dealing with her anxiety flare ups, but it definitely tests me. I am glad to be there for her when she needs me, and I hate the fact that my ever present time crunch informs the way I deal with her. 
When it really comes down to it, I rarely am able to sacrifice my down time. I still read, I still watch TV, I still exercise, and I definitely still get a full night's sleep. I need these things and just simply can't run non stop from morning until night. Stress eats at me too quickly if I do. So the things that fall away are the medium priority items. It's working for now.


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