I share it all willingly

2011/09/30

My friend shared an article this week that really has me thinking about love and charity and community and connection. The singular point of the article about marriage and divorce is poignant, but I felt strongly about the larger theme of sharing joys as well as sorrows with those we love.

I willingly, even gratefully, share it all- the good and the bad, the easy and the hard.

In Romans 12:15 it says we should "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." For me at least, love is made stronger by both. Love does not increase because the shared news is good or bad, it is simply the sharing that makes love grow.

Moment of the day

2011/09/28

There are a few things I miss about Arizona. (The missing of things is a few, the missing of persons is A LOT.) One of those things: Palo Verde trees. Such beautiful lines, such lovely green bark.

Moment of the day

2011/09/27

I love baby toes.

This is going to be a great book

"I was starting to understand.... I had to add my hope to somebody else’s hope. I had to multiply hope by hope."

from The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

Moment of the day

Worky, worky, worky. I actually do like being in the office, going to meetings, and seeing coworkers. Sometimes I get caught up in how hard it is to be away from home and my momminess, but I also enjoy my job and being here on campus.

Can you tell I had actual good sleep last night? I'm not quite to 100% but sleep does have a miraculous way of resetting my occasionally dismal attitude.

Moment of the day

2011/09/26

Do I look dead? 'Cause I kinda feel dead. Like those cartoons where people prop their eye lids open with toothpicks. But other than debilitating exhaustion I seem to be fine. A little emotional but that's to be expected too. The Phoenix airport seems to do that to me. And how...

bad news, good news

2011/09/25

Bad news: I am sick today and still living in my pajamas. I am needing to pack for my commute to Phoenix tomorrow. My flight leaves at 6 am which means I need to be up at 3 A.M. to make it work. Does that even qualify as A.M.? There should be a pre-A.M. designation, or as I call it: stupid. Phoenix is two hours behind time zone wise and that makes for a ridiculously long day by the time Monday is over and done with. I may or may not survive.

Good news: It's my birthday and I've been eating lots of chocolate. I've enjoyed an amazing outpouring of birthday wishes and it's left me feeling very loved. And I'm pretty sure I'm wise now that I'm 35. Way wiser than yesterday when I was only 34.

bad news, good news

2011/09/24

Bad news: headaches. I've had migraines my entire adult life. Sometimes debilitating, sometimes just a nuisance. They were pretty bad when I was in my early 20s, but since then they've been what I consider medium grade. They do ruin a day for sure, but only rarely am I crying in my bed, praying for death. This summer got pretty bad with a couple of weeks of non stop headaches that nothing OTC would touch. Excederin has been my drug of choice for years now, but it's started to really upset my stomach and make me just feel awful so even when it does kill the headache the rest of my day is shot. So I finally went to the doctor and she gave me a few different things to try.

Good news: I finally found medicine that works. I've only tested it out a couple of times now, but it worked like a charm. This is a big deal.

Bad news: finding out it costs me $10 a pill. Seriously, I went to pick up the prescription and I couldn't believe I had to pay $40 and they only gave me four pills. I'm not really looking forward to staring each headache in the face and trying to decide if it's worth $10 or not. Because of course the longer I wait to take the pill the less chance it has of working. I'm going to have to figure that out. $10 would buy a lot of gourmet dark chocolate.

Good news: reading that without insurance it costs $40+ a pill. I guess I won't complain about $10 any more.

A beautiful image

2011/09/23

I like to think of her giving, sharing, loving in what way she can. Hoping it is enough.




bad news, good news

Bad news: waking up to get the girls ready for school after a late night with friends.

Good news: good conversation with friends. Always worth it. 

Also good news: naps. One of my very favorite types of good news.

bad news, good news

2011/09/22

Bad news: I finally had a piano tuner come look at my much beloved piano and it is too dangerous to tune it. I did find out that it was made in 1925 and much of it is great condition, just not the strings. It's about a half note off and moving it that far would risk breaking strings because they are rusting and the tuning pegs are not in great shape. No danger of my girls developing perfect pitch.

Good news: because the piano tuning appointment was cut short I was able to go luxuriate for a good 75 minutes in a yin yoga class. That is a very good thing indeed.

Today is one of those days

2011/09/21

Those wonky days...

I vote back to bed.

16 de Septiembre

2011/09/20

All of the 2nd graders put on a Spanish dance and music performance last week for Mexican Independence Day. I was amazed at how good the performance was considering we are only a handful of weeks into the school year and the kids only get Spanish class once a week or so. But each class had a dance or play to perform an then the entire 2nd grade sang several songs in Spanish.

My girl loves these performance days. She gets very excited about it and it truly is a highlight of the school year for her. Makes me happy.



Crazy Dreams

I've been having some pretty weird sleep the past month or so. Lots more nightmares and stress dreams than normal and just general unease and unrest. I must have my sleep cycles out of whack because even though I get plenty of sleep and my wake up time is fairly constant, I wake up feeling awful in the middle of crazy vivid dreams. I'm starting to come out of it some the last week and I am just hoping it's behind me.

One night a few weeks ago I had three (3!) separate chase dreams, back to back. One involved a bear and ended up with Sylvie getting dunked in a tank of ice water and me barely rescuing her before she died. One involved me as teenager (not myself) and a crazy dude trying to get me and some scenes hiding in basements etc.  One involved me as an illegal alien hiding out from the authorities and being chased through a series of weird stilt houses.

Last week I had a dream that first I was being attacked by a wolf, a bob cat and some other forest creature with large teeth. I was talking to some help line on my phone and they kept asking me what weaponry I had available. All I could think of were my blue kitchen scissors. So I went back into my cabin when the dream switched and all of a sudden I had this impression that I had invented some really important formula and there were lots of villains trying to come get it/me. There were probably 25-30 people that came through the door trying to get it, but none of them particularly menacing. I had to stab them dead all with my blue kitchen scissors. And it was surprisingly easy. Sylvie was there and I just calmly kept telling her to go into her bedroom and shut the door. The dream them switched to some strange game show where I kept messing things up. I don't remember that part as clearly.

I also had a dream last week where I was working in some cabinet level position for the POTUS. Not really sure what president though. I had a feeling that it was President Obama but I distinctly remember Donald Rumsfeld being there (no, that's not the nightmare part). Anyway, we were in some refugee and/or military camp type situation working to do whatever important people do in such circumstances. And then all of a sudden there was Tessa showing me some strange skin boils/blisters/skin tags that had suddenly appeared on her. All over the majority of her back and her shoulders and her upper legs. I was completely torn about what I was supposed to be focusing on. It was one of those dreams where I just couldn't think straight nor really figure out what I was supposed to be doing. This obviously bothers me enough to classify it as a nightmare.

I still have a lot of the classic school nightmares. The two most common are that I've forgotten where my locker is and/or I've forgotten my locker combination. And the other is that it is the week of finals and I've forgotten to go to class at all or study in the least. How old am I? I've been out of school for over a decade and still these stress dreams plague me. They really are the worst.

Last night I had a dream that I was at the Grand Canyon with a group of mostly unknown to me people and we were filming an underwater video. (Yes, at the Grand Canyon, I never claimed these dreams make sense.) Things were going along fine until a monstrous purple squid/octopus thing with dozens of tentacles attacked us. We had to run for our lives but got out fine - still all were shook up. This dream at least had a better resolution because I remember one person in the group taking care to watch out for me and make sure I was protected and cared for. Always good to have someone watching out for you in your nightmares.

Does this count as therapy?

My addiction

2011/09/19

I have a little addiction going on. It might be growing out of hand. It's called Amazon Prime.

I first subscribed a few years ago during Christmas shopping with a free trial that I conveniently "forgot" to cancel. It felt like a splurge for the $79 membership but I swear to you it has been worth every penny. Every time I order on Amazon I think of all the "extras" I would have purchased if I had gone to Target for the item I needed. That covers the membership fee many times over in the course of a year. Plus two day shipping! That's just awesome!

Anyway, the UPS guy obviously knows our house well. (And stupid Cricket still has a conniption every time.) I've come to enjoy those little packages. I order enough that I forget what's even coming. It would be like Christmas every day if indeed receiving kitchen cleaning spray, spaghetti forks, bobby pins, and shaving gel were what I wanted for Christmas. I realized it was a problem this week when I had to explain to the family why it had been a smart move to buy a 1,200 count bag of salt packets so the girls could eat their boiled eggs and cucumbers in style at school. Only $7 and free two-day shipping! Total necessity!

Disclaimer: I am of the opinion that the UPS guy would already be on my street so I'm not really wasting a ton of fossil fuels. And I promise I recycle all the boxes. Lots and lots of boxes.

Stones from the River

2011/09/18

Stones from the RiverStones from the River by Ursula Hegi
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was an incredible book. Epic to get through but I enjoyed it the whole way. The main character is a dwarf living in Germany the first half of the 20th century. Many interesting themes of alienation and community, of romance and love. I really enjoyed discovering the reactions of the community to the experiences of WWII. I had difficulty keeping all the characters straight as there are many members of the town that pull threads of the story all the way through the narrative, but the general feel was so lovely to me. Excellent book.


View all my reviews

Half Baked

Half BakedHalf Baked by Alexa Stevenson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I was not looking forward to this book. A memoir about life in the nicu just didn't seem like pleasant reading. But I was most pleasantly surprised. The author is incredibly funny even through a tragic and overwhelming situation. She gives it all an incredible relatability and humanity. Her humor felt incredibly honest to me and I loved her much for it.


View all my reviews

Moment of the day 9.18.2011

Sylvie's requested bedtime reading. I had forgotten how much I loved these books as a kid. And just how spectacularly bad the writing is.

Moment of the day 9.17.2011

2011/09/17

My toes are now my new favorite color, which Essie tells me is called geranium.

Moment of the day 9.17.2011

I opted out of ACL this weekend so the girls and I are home while Dave lives it up. We consoled ourselves by going to Whole Foods and splurging on fancy mini cakes. Yum.

Wishing

2011/09/14

The Canyon Calls

2011/09/12

I am all abuzz with the beginning planning stage for my next hike of the Grand Canyon. Good thing is I've gotten lots of friends on board who are interested. Bad thing is that we're probably not going until October 2012. I would much, much rather it was this very upcoming weekend. Anyway, if you're interested in getting in on the action let me know. We're making reservations for Phantom Ranch (to spend a night at the bottom of the canyon) in a few weeks so I need a rough headcount. It's better than you can imagine!



Things I couldn't live without

2011/09/11

In the category of technology I love both the means:
  • My smartphone
  • iPad
  • Laptop
and the ends:
  • Google Calendar
  • Toodledo
  • Google Reader
  • Blogger (duh!)
  • Microsoft Excel
  • Rhapsody and/or Spotify. I can't decide which to go with but I do require huge gobs of music.
  • Amazon Prime
  • Online banking
  • And of course the internet at large. Tessa's friends were playing Would You Rather once in the car and the question came up: Would you rather lose your left foot or the internet? As much as I love my body in tact, I'm pretty sure I'd rather have the internet.
Also:
  • The public library. That feels a little out of place on this techno-centric list, but I truly could not live without it.
  • DVRs
  • And of course the countless things of everyday modern life that we all take for granted: modern transportation, air conditioning, grocery stores, washing machines, refrigerators and the like. Let's hear it for the 21st century!

Bikes

Actual pictures from my actual camera! It feels like a while since these have been featured on my blog. The weather has dipped down into the chilly mid 90s and the girls are o-u-t out on the street. Tessa has been biking non-stop with her neighborhood friends and Sylvie seems to have caught the bug because she's up on her bike and has ditched the training wheels. I am amazed she took to it so smoothly. Makes me so happy for both my girls.




Song of the Day

2011/09/09

Thought

2011/09/08

It is true, I have become a score keeper of sorts. Tallying it all up subconsciously and stressing over whether or not I have contributed enough, pulled my fair share. Rarely do I do this with an eye towards others and their contribution - just my own. I guess this is poor self esteem in a twisted way. I feel I have to sparkle in order to be found worthy of love and friendship. To earn it. But really, what could we ever do to "earn" love? But I am getting more comfortable with the truth that we are on the same team. Mutual edification. That is a hard one to get through my head. But the rays that are getting through the cracks of my thick skull are glorious.

Moment of the day 9.7.2011

2011/09/07

At the temple today. Even during difficulty I can find peace and a moment of pure happiness here.